How Tavistock Memory Café became a lifeline for West Devon families

The room is already buzzing as Heather Rayne welcomes everyone back after the Christmas break. 

There are jokes, smiles and the hum of conversation as people settle around the tables. 

For many in the room, this is far more than a social gathering, it is a lifeline.  

From Carer to Coordinator  

Heather’s journey with Tavistock Memory Café (TMC) began long before she became its coordinator. 

READ NEXT: Plymouth Argyle fans get key injury updates before Blackpool away trip

In the early 2000s, she was working in a care home for older people, many of whom had dementia, at a time when understanding of the condition and training around it was far more limited than it is today.  

When Heather’s mother developed dementia, Memory Cafés were only just beginning to appear in the UK, having originated in Holland. 

Tavistock was part of a pilot scheme, opening its doors for the first time in 2006. 

Not long after, Heather started bringing her mother to the sessions.  

Nearly 20 years on, Heather still keeps in touch with one of those original members, a lady who’s now 91, who was caring for her husband at the time. 

“That says everything about the bonds formed here,” Heather says.  

After her mother passed away in 2008, Heather made the decision to stay involved. “I really saw the value in what TMC was doing,” she says. 

“I’d seen how much my mum benefited from coming, and how much support carers like myself found here. I just really wanted to be part of it.”  

She went from carer to volunteer, joined the committee, and eventually stepped into her current role coordinating the entire operation.  

More Than Just a Café  

Today, TMC offers far more than a monthly café. Heather also coordinates Catch a Cuppa drop-in sessions, Cognitive Stimulation Therapy, and Care and Share groups. 

READ NEXT: Devon councils unite in bid to ban the sale of tobacco to future generations

Together, these activities allow members to meet regularly, build friendships, and create strong peer support networks for carers.  

“For carers especially, knowing you’re not alone is huge,” Heather says. “People share experiences, tips, frustrations and laughs. That support makes a real difference.”  

Around 25 volunteers currently work with TMC, many of whom have lived experience of caring for someone with dementia. 

The volunteer team spans generations, from Duke of Edinburgh students aged 16 to volunteers in their 80s.  

“That mix is great,” Heather adds, “because everyone learns from each other.”  

Giving Back and Gaining So Much  

Chris has been with TMC for 12 years following dementia diagnoses for both his parents. 

READ NEXT: Major Devon employer celebrates its apprentices during national week

He proudly describes himself as the café’s third longest-serving volunteer and has taken on many roles over the years.  

“You don’t need a medical background or lots of training to help people,” he says. “Just a willingness to listen, chat, and respond naturally as a human being.”  

ABOVE: Chris finding name badges at TMC (Image: West Devon CVS)

Brenda, a former community nurse, joined after being approached by Chris when TMC needed extra volunteers. 

Already busy and volunteering elsewhere, she agreed to help out for just one session. Seven years later, she’s still there.  

“I didn’t expect it to stay with me like it has,” she says. “You come for one session and suddenly you realise how special it is.”  

Laura, 26, has been volunteering since 2019. During today’s session, she pours tea and encourages people to enjoy a slice of Battenberg cake.  

“I like being in the kitchen,” she says with a smile. “That way I get to chat with most people. You really feel part of their day.”  

For Mo, 87, volunteering offered something vital after her husband’s sudden death. “Connected is the word I’d choose,” she says. 

“I threw myself into volunteering as a distraction - a way of filling my time. But it’s become so much more than that.”  

Connection Through Play and Conversation  

Around the room, the impact of the café is visible everywhere. A Jenga tower teeters to delighted gasps and cheers. 

READ NEXT: New Dartmoor web-app launched to help simplify tracking of visited tors

At another table, the game Chatterbox prompts lively conversation, while Treasured Memories encourages reminiscence and shared stories. 

ABOVE: Some of the games used to stimulate memories and discussion (Image: West Devon CVS)

Famous Faces, similar to a pub quiz picture round, has members debating the identity of long-remembered celebrities.  

At one quieter table, a new volunteer sits leafing through historic photographs with a member, gently prompting memories. 

Every activity is carefully chosen to encourage connection, conversation and confidence.  

Jane, the volunteer coordinator, ensures everything runs smoothly. 

She creates schedules, prepares induction packs and makes sure every volunteer feels supported. 

Having cared for her mother, who had Parkinson’s, Jane wishes she had known earlier what she knows now.  

“That’s why this matters,” she says. “If we can make life even a little easier or more enjoyable for members and carers, then it’s worth it.”  

Celebrating 20 Years of Togetherness  

This summer, Tavistock Memory Café will celebrate its 20th anniversary. 

READ NEXT: Plymouth ‘known accident hotspot’ set for long awaited improvement plans this spring

Chairman of the trustees, Graham, says plans are underway for a tea dance at the Town Hall, with live entertainment bringing together members, carers, volunteers and supporters.  

“It’s about celebrating connection,” he says. “That’s what TMC has always been about, doing things together.”  

As laughter ripples across the room once more, it’s clear that for those who volunteer here, the rewards are shared. 

They give their time, kindness and energy, and receive friendship, purpose and belonging in return.  

As Heather puts it: “Volunteering doesn’t just change other people’s lives. It changes yours too.”

This is the second article in a series of features on volunteers by West Devon CVS' Dawn Todd, to read the first, a profile on cancer survivor Phil Tearle, click here.